A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!"Confused, the father asks what's wrong. "Oh, dad" the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the There's no Santa' speech. At seven, I got the There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the There's no tooth fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that adults don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for."

Im a bit shy, but at a party with a group of people I  know occasionally i like 2 be the centre of attention.  Especially when drinking, heres a few things a like to do at partys you should give them a go.  They will get a laugh but you may fell like a bit of an ass clown in the morning...

 

1. Get cake (or another type of food served at the party but cake works best) and smear it over your mouth/face area, go up to the host or person who made the cake/food and compliment on them on how good it is with the cake/food still all over your face.

 

2. If its a birthday party when they sing happy birthday start the HIP HIP HOORAY chant after the song, once the thierd HIP HIP is complete give one more loud preferably with hands punching in the air HIP HIP!

 

3. Laugh uncontrollably if a speech is done, the best time is when a really bad joke is made.

 

4. Make sure if there is micophone use it and make sure u sing a song that you know the words of the chorus to but have no idea what the other words are.  The trail off is hilarious when done well.

Just a few quick thoughts...

 

- When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?